From Tasks to Togetherness

1. Doing Things Together: Co-regulation (Co-regulatory Patterns)
In therapy rooms and schools, the focus is often on the child doing the activity while the therapist helps or observes, leading to anxiety as the child feels judged. As parents, we must let go of the role of a teacher and instead become a guide, doing activities together using co-regulatory patterns.

2. Enjoy the Game Yourself: Fake It Till You Make It
Children are incredibly perceptive to their parents’ emotions. If you’re genuinely having fun, your child is more likely to join in. Sometimes, you may not feel playful or joyful, but acting as if you’re enjoying the moment can create a positive atmosphere. This approach—often summarized as “fake it till you make it”—can shift the mood and encourage your child to engage more willingly. Your enthusiasm is contagious!

3. Building Anticipation: Sparking Excitement
Building anticipation is a fantastic way to bring joy into any interaction. Whether it’s waiting for a ball to roll back or preparing to jump into a puddle, the pause before the action creates a sense of excitement. Use your body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice to communicate what’s about to happen. The thrill of the “what’s next” keeps your child engaged and eager to participate.

4. Building Trust (Setting Limits): Creating Safe Boundaries
Setting limits is essential, not just for behavior management but also for building trust and safety. Define the activity to the child, explain how many times it will be done, stick to it, finish, and celebrate.

5. Using Prosody: The Power of Voice
Prosody refers to the rhythm, tone, and melody of our speech. Using varied prosody can make your voice sound more engaging and interesting. Think of it like adding color to your speech—whether it’s a soft whisper during a calm moment or an excited, exaggerated cheer during playtime. This variation captures your child’s attention and enhances the emotional tone of your interaction, making your communication more dynamic and engaging.

6. Slowing Down: Reducing Anxiety, Enhancing Connection
In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to rush through activities without pausing to truly connect. Slowing down gives your child the time they need to process, understand, and engage. When you move at a slower pace, it not only reduces your child’s anxiety but also allows for deeper, more meaningful interactions. A slower pace means more time to notice, appreciate, and respond to each other, transforming everyday tasks into cherished moments of togetherness.

7. Exaggerated Expressions or Movements: Making It Fun
Children with autism often respond well to exaggerated expressions or movements. Whether it’s a big, playful smile, an exaggerated nod, or an animated fall, these amplified actions capture your child’s attention and make interactions more enjoyable. Over-the-top expressions are not only fun but also help in conveying emotions clearly, making it easier for your child to understand and engage.

8. Mindful Communication: Less is More
Using single words instead of full sentences helps children understand more easily and reduces anxiety. Pausing between instructions allows time to process, making communication clearer. Whenever possible, use gestures instead of words—they are powerful, reduce overwhelm, and help build a stronger connection.

9. Celebrate and Appreciate: Positive Reinforcement Goes a Long Way
Celebrate even the smallest successes, as they can have a big impact on your child. A simple “great job” or a smile of appreciation reinforces positive behavior and encourages your child to keep engaging. Mix up your expressions of appreciation—go beyond “Good job” with phrases like “Wow!”, “Oh my God!”, “Amazing!”, or “You’re a rock star!” to keep it fresh and meaningful.