Presuming Competence: A Guiding Principle for Meaningful Interaction

Presuming competence isn’t just a strategy—it’s a mindset. It means seeing beyond disabilities and focusing on abilities, treating every individual with the respect and dignity they deserve.

In RDI® (Relationship Development Intervention), we talk about presuming competence from Day 1 itself, because as parents, building this mindset takes time. Especially while playing or doing chores, we have to presume competence so that we do not over-compensate the child in any form and are able to get the best out of the child in every situation.

Here are a few rules we should remember while trying to incorporate “presuming competence” in our daily life:

  1. Play Fair: Treat everyone as equals in games and activities. Fair play fosters trust and mutual respect.

  2. Age-Appropriate Interaction: Speak and act according to the individual’s age. This helps in building their self-esteem and ensures they feel respected.

  3. Encourage Independence: Allow individuals to try tasks on their own. This promotes self-reliance and confidence.

  4. Respect Abilities: Assume that the person can understand and participate. This encourages them to engage more fully.

  5. Set High Expectations: Expect them to follow the rules and meet the same standards as others. High expectations can motivate them to achieve more.

  6. Positive Reinforcement: Praise efforts and achievements. Positive feedback reinforces good behavior and encourages continued participation.

  7. Foster Reciprocity: Encourage back-and-forth interaction. This builds communication skills and strengthens relationships.

  8. Authentic Communication: Use natural and genuine language. Authenticity fosters trust and clearer understanding.

  9. Respond to Facial Expressions: Be attentive to their facial expressions and body language. This helps in understanding their feelings and reactions better.

  10. Show Genuine Emotions: Express your true feelings to create opportunities for interaction. Genuine emotions make interactions more meaningful and relatable

Following is a video where I try and show you how the above rules look like when you work with a child.

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